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Honest Feelings From A Foster Parent

As foster parents, or often as parents in general, we have such a strong desire to fight for our kids. We do everything we can for them. Whether it's dentist appointments, doctor's appointments, School, extracurricular activities, therapy, play dates, summer camp, or anything else along those lines, we do it. If we have to advocate for them, we advocate loudly. We stand firm, oftentimes we advocate more for them than we do for ourselves. We see their hurt and their pain, and we do everything in our power to try and take it away from them. We would rather feel the hurt and pain ourselves than see our kids live and walk through it. When you take a child in who has been through more hurt, pain, loss and suffering than the average adult, and you start a journey of healing with them, you never quite know what will surface. That hurt, that pain, and that abuse and or neglect will come out in so many different ways. It will come out in aggression, violence, self-hatred and self de
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Real Fears of a Foster Parent

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FEAR. 4 little letters. One simple word. Yet this is a daily reality that is so hard to bear. As foster parents we can live in constant fear. Fear of kids returning home to unsafe situations. Fear of them not returning at all. Fear that no one will fight for them. Fear that the system will fail them… again. Fear that they will be forgotten. Fear as you are told they will be having visits with family members who have harmed them. Fear of loving and losing. Fear of what will happen at your next court date, or visit, or team meeting. Fear of how they will react the next time they are "triggered", or where you will be when they are "triggered". Fear that no matter what you do, your kids will still push you away, and will never want you. Fear that no matter how hard you try, it wont make a difference. Fear that in the end, you don't get to choose what is best for your babies. This fear is such a deep fear. A fear that leaves you sick to your sto
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To The Mom Who Eats last

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"Dear Momma, Yes, you, the one who is eating last. Whether it's for the first time, or for the 40,000th time. Whether it's because you were too busy making sure your kids got something to eat before you left for their school concert, or because you are too busy nursing a baby while everyone else is eating. I want you to know something very important. I. See. You. I see the sacrifices you make. I see your working hard to make a nice warm and healthy dinner, just to eat it cold hours later. I see you sitting down to eat, taking 3 bites, only to have to get up to get everyone else seconds. I see you wishing your kids would just go to bed so you can finally finish your food. I see the tears you cry because it's been such a long day, and you are hungry and tired. I see you snap at your kids, when you know they really don't deserve it, and then I see your remorse. I see you dragging yourself to bed, knowing you only have a few hours of very interrupted sle
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Nanny, not a Sitter

It used to never bother me that people would call a nanny a babysitter. But, after working as a nanny for a few years, that has changed. Nannies are very different than sitters. Sitters may have a relationship with the family, but the connection is not the same. Nannies don't just have a connection with the family, they have to become family. They don't just know the kids, they know the family. Sitters come and play with the kids for a few hours here and there. Nannies are there anywhere from once a week, to living in the home all hours of a week. And, just like moms, even after they leave, the kids are still always on their minds. They worry about whether they handled a situation properly with the kids. They think about what they can do with the kids the next day they are with them. They wonder what they could have done better, and they think about how they can do better next time. A babysitter is temporary. A nanny is there to be a mom's hands, feet and heart whil
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Why We Should Stop Worrying About Kids At The Border

Don't let this headline fool you. Yes, I do care about what is happening down there. However, I have not personally seen with my own eyes what is happening, and I refuse to blindly believe what I'm being told by the media. So, I don't know how bad the situation may or may not be. Whatever it is, I do believe that families are being separated (whether there may be cause or not is not my point).  That simple fact breaks my heart. Now, onto why we shouldn't be worrying about this. We too often focus on what the media (social or “news”) has to say, and we jump to our agendas and worry about this and that, and then when that slowly dies down, we jump onto the next thing. Never having made any REAL difference. Sometimes they change a law, or pass a bill, but 9/10 of the time, that never really changes anything other than our own feelings like we ‘helped’. The fact is it's never going to change, that is, unless we change. We can't keep worrying about what is
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Why You Should Never Ask Your Young Married Friends When They Are Having Kids

   Many of you might have read this title and gone, "I never knew there was anything wrong with that." The truth is, before being married, neither did I. No, I never really asked that question before, unless it was one of my close friends, but the truth is that I thought it all the time. "Oh, they've been married for 6 months, I wonder if she is pregnant yet?"    Growing up in the Christian culture, and more so in the home-school culture, it's almost expected that you get married young and have kids right off. If you don't do that, then you are the odd one out. I cannot tell you how many of my friends got married at 19 and had a honeymoon baby. Or, maybe they got married right after college and waited 6 months before getting pregnant. Either way, when I was younger, the couples who got married at 23 and waited 4 years before having kids seemed odd. The truth is, I nenver realized how many people asked young couples, "when are you were having kid
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When Pain Cracks My Bubble

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     I experienced pain this summer. Pain beyond what I have experienced before. A pain that shattered my whole world.      My first year of Bible school has had it's ups and downs. I have enjoyed making new friends, learning more about the Bible and the truths God has spoken. I have benefited from so many people speaking into my life. This is something that I am sure that most (if not all) of my classmates could say the same thing about their experience here. However, there is something about my Bible school experience that is unique. Something, that I like to call the "bubble".      The "bubble" is incredible. I live in one building, with 200 other people, (married couples, single students of all ages, young kids, grandparents, staff and students). Outside of that building there is a small campus, with more housing that is filled with more students and staff. Everyone knows everyone, everyone encourages, prays for and lives life with everyone. It is impossi
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